Recently i was struggling with my new career. Well not recently, it's been months already. I left a profession that i was good at for the past 7 years. Did well, earned decent money, but somehow or rather deep down inside i knew it was something i couldn't do long term. Made a switch to another career path that was drastically different. I did really well for the first 9 months or so, then i had a huge performance slump. And man, was this a really long slump. Started in Feb this year and finally recovering from it now, which is already October.
All this while i was thinking of quitting and going back to what i was really good at. And all this while, ALL the people around me that really loved me told me to stay, hang on and not quit 'cos i have a bright and promising future in this career. But deep down inside i didn't really believe it. Still trying to struggle through and psyching myself up to do better, to look for that lost fighting spirit that i always had. That gung-ho spirit, that leadership training that i had during my national service, that mental focus that i acquired through martial arts training, basically all the positive life experiences that i've accumulated all these years. But somehow or rather all these didn't help.
THEN, the answer to my problems came when my boss asked me out for lunch and blessed me with a fantastic treat at his club. Well, the answer isn't the food of course but the conversation that transpired. I was sharing with him that the reason i felt lousy about myself was that i couldn't find that same fighting spirit, gung-ho-ness, mental focus and whatever else that i had to excel in my previous occupation and translate that to the new career that i had. And this really bugged me and made me feel lousy, worthless and just feel like giving up.
He asked one question that rocked my faculties and initially i didn't really understand what he was saying. He said, "Is that a bad thing?" Meaning me losing all my positive abilities that i had that brought me success previously. Initially i was like, yeah! of course that's a bad thing! It affects everything in my life! Then he reminded of Paul. Paul was a Pharisee. The best of them. Trained in all the ways of the Law. Trained to be the elite. Pushed to the limit where he became a persecutor/murderer of Christians. But we all know what happened to Saul right? Saul became Paul. The persecutor to the preacher!
Paul after being born again in Christ became a radically new person! He was not the same person anymore. He was transformed inwardly and outwardly. And this is what Paul said about all his previous training and know how...
4... If anyone else thinks he may have confidence in the flesh, I more so:
5 circumcised the eighth day, of the stock of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of the Hebrews; concerning the law, a Pharisee;
6 concerning zeal, persecuting the church; concerning the righteousness which is in the law, blameless.
7 But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ.
8 Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as dung, that I may gain Christ
This inward revelation that Paul had about being born again gave me new meaning to 2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
What it means for me now being born again in Christ is that ALL of me that WAS me, GOOD or BAD has passed away. God is setting me up for bigger blessings, better things, a newer toolbox of skills. It is only when we have lost all our strength that His strength is perfected in us. All our self will, self effort, self-motivation and know-how are like dung. All our previous good experiences, good knowledge, intensive training are also like dung. Because eating from the Tree of the knowledge of Good & Evil brings death, but Life flows when when we eat from the Tree of Life! Behold Jesus and what He has done. Behold Him who have made ALL thing new!
I'm so blessed to have a boss that not only can help me build a career but also lead me spiritually to higher grounds.
I hope this little sharing here can bless you for your time of need.
God bless, be in His Shalom,